Sometimes mornings can be tough. When parents drop off the children at daycare everything is not always that quick and simple. Saying goodbye can make children feel sad and upset. Tears are falling and the child is clinging to the caregiver's leg - how to get out of this situation without more distress and panic??
Here are some tips on how to manage separation anxiety and how educators can help children feel safer and more secure.
What is separation anxiety?
Many children experience separation anxiety as it is a normal part of child development. Separation anxiety is a sign of a meaningful attachment.
Infants
Separation anxiety develops after a child gains an understanding of object permanence. Once an infant realizes the parent is gone, she might get restless. Most infants develop separation anxiety around 9 months of age. The separations might feel worse if the infant is hungry, tired, or otherwise not feeling well.
Toddlers
Some toddlers might not have separation anxiety during infancy but start demonstrating it around 18 months of age. Again, separations are more difficult if children are hungry, tired, or ill. As toddlers become more independent they can also act more dramatic during the separations.
Preschoolers
By the time children are 3 years of age, some can still have separation anxiety. It is the key to being consistent with the morning routine and sticking to the original plan. At this age, children understand much more, so it is a good idea to explain for example when the parent is coming back to pick the child up.
Get to know each other
The better the educator knows the child, the easier it is to start daycare. If possible, ask the family to come and visit the daycare before the start date. The child can come to play outdoors together with the educators and children, take a look at his new class, meet the educators, and so on.
Caregivers should fill out a form (Child Resume template) with all important information about the child. Also, the more parents tell, the better. What is the child's favorite game, color, toy, food, or sport..? When the child gets a feeling that the educator is interested in him, he trusts the daycare professionals more and makes the separations with parents easier.
Eventhough children have many peers and friends in daycare, only mature, caring adult attachments can deliver a secure, safe connection that a young child needs.
Let children show their emotions
It is important to let children express their feelings. If a child is crying and sad that their parent is leaving, hold the child on your lap and "collect his tears". It is only natural that children cry when they feel upset.
Educators should not push children to be "big" or "strong" and "stop that silly sobbing" - but on the contrary. It is good that the child is expressing his feelings, it supports his mental health too. When a child is revealing his feelings and cries after his caregiver, educators can support the child and earn his trust by being there during that hard moment.
Feeling sad and crying is actually one of the most natural things for a child when faced with the things they can’t change or hold onto. Telling a child not to worry about it or not to cry when they are missing further diminishes their feelings and sense that a care provider can take care of them.